Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.  For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.

Lamentations 3:32-33

Pick up just about any book on parenting a child with special needs and you find a section or chapter dealing with grief.  That book is likely to tell you that grief is not only normal, but necessary. You had a dream for your child.  All parents do.  Your dream may have even been conceived years before your child.

  • My son will go to college.
  • My daughter will have the dance lessons I never had.
  • My child will take over the family business.

The dream is different for every parent, but you can bet no one’s wishes ever include, “My child will have a handicap or life threatening illness.”

And so your grieve the loss of your dream.  Strangely enough, however, I have met quite a few parents who feel guilty about this grief.  I have felt the guilt myself.  “My child is alive, ” we say. “I should be happy.”

Let me assure you that there is nothing wrong with grief.  God allows grief and promises to be there with us.  We need to go through this grief.  The problem comes when we grieve too long.  We wallow in grief and self-pity.  God wants us to pick ourselves up and get on with our lives.  Only in our moving forward can we truly be of us to the child who needs us.  Likewise, it is only in our moving forward that God can be glorified in our lives.  He is there to lift you up.  Just ask him.

Lord, thank you for being there in my grief.  Show me how to work through it.  Each day help me to find more to be thankful for and less to mourn.  Amen.

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